Cliche Busters

By Joel Marshall Several times a day you must articulate the fact that you are about to start, starting, continuing, or finishing whatever you call your music sweep. Don’t count on your Roget's thesaurus to come up with interesting alternatives for words like "begin". It’ll give you words like "commence", "initiate", and "embark", none of which you can say on the air without sounding like half a sissy. A. You're not just "beginning" a music marathon, you're: launching blasting off on putting on switching on busting out breaking out knocking out whipping out banging out rolling out kick starting diving into lighting up cranking up uploading booting up firing up serving up 40 minutes of non-stop whatever. B. Don't say "We're continuing" a set, say you're: Going with the flow keeping it rolling hitting the wall but getting a second wind still in the zone blazing away tunneling through passing the rock like Shawn Kemp pounding away banging away hammering out tearing through burning up a 40 minute music marathon. C. Never say you're "Wrapping up" a music marathon, in fact-don’t even call attention to it! Give your listeners some credit, they'll figure it out when that Molson commercial comes on. D. The extra-long music sweep isn't just "up next" or "on the way", it's: cocked, locked, and ready to rock waiting on deck set ta' go imminent Ready to rip E. When taping phone calls for playback, being a Jerky Boy never goes out of style: Hello, Krank 107, what's up, happy ass? "Yeah, uh, are you, uh can I hear, uh, a song?" Sure thing, fruity nipples. What can I play for ya'? "Uh, I think it's by uh, " Spit it out there turkey neck ... Even if you can't bring yourself to be obnoxious, you can still call your listeners, "Chief", "Ace", "Lugnuts", "Homes", "Girlfriend", "Blinky", and "Pancake".